Body Consciousness in America

(June, 2006)

I need to preface this essay with a sincere statement that I’m not passing judgment on anyone or any particular region of the country…I’m just bearing witness to some interesting trends I’ve observed.

Living in California for the past year has been eye-opening in many ways—but the one I’m writing about today is body image. A common belief is that the media is the main entity to hold accountable for extreme focus on/obsession with perfect body image—to an unhealthy extent. This focus certainly exists everywhere, but I’ve noticed that it’s pretty much a way of life here (especially in Southern California, the closer one gets to L.A., where celebrities and other people in the limelight set the main fashion trends).

There’s a Medi-spa on every corner, ready and waiting to provide women (and hell, men too) with injections, implants, tinting, or removal of unwanted hair, skin coloring, or fat cells. There are ads for women’s lingerie claiming that it’s cheaper to buy lingerie than get a divorce (what, so if you’re not sexy enough, your hubby will divorce you?)!

I see lots of Barbie dolls walking the streets (it’s a college town), and lots of earthy, hippie-chicks who don’t care about fashion or makeup—but hardly any “in between” women. I work with some truly beautiful (older) women who tell me, “Don’t bother looking for men in this town—they all wanna hook up with the 22 year olds.” This is such a well-known phenomenon here that the rare, local men who aren’t that way (who post profiles in online dating websites) have to go out of their way to assure you they’re deviants from the norm: “I’m not looking for Supermodels or the perfect body! I just want a woman to be REAL!”

Again, I do realize that body image obsession definitely goes on in other parts of the country and world (especially near other metropolises), but coming from the Midwest, where people might be a little plump or their hair not groomed in the perfect style…but they still feel beautiful, regardless, and their mates love them exactly as they are, it was a real culture-shock, seeing this daily drive for perfection.

This is not to say that health and fitness should be left by the wayside. I totally support those who exercise daily and strive for weight loss/maintenance in order to remain healthy. But when you add the obsessive need to be absolutely stunning and perfect at all times—to the point of rejecting the natural self—well, that doesn’t seem healthy to me in the least, and certainly not helpful to humankind if it becomes the “norm.”

My thoughts fly back to the enchanting day I spent in Venice, Italy in 2000. I was sailing down the Grand Canal watching people bustling around the ancient city streets, crossing bridges, sailing past in gondolas…and sunbathing. Lying on an embankment near the Rialto Bridge, in front of every onlooker, was a group of older Italian women (in their 50s and 60s) in swimsuits, lying in the sun—letting it all hang out. Rotund limbs and bellies, wrinkles, graying hair, cellulite, and voluptuous curves. I could tell by the carefree way they held themselves that they felt absolutely beautiful.

I wish our country could be more like Europe when it comes to body image. Why do I feel so strongly about this? Well, I just know that self-acceptance and self-love is a major key to inner peace and happiness, as well as acceptance of others. And the more inner peace each individual achieves on his or her own, the more it leads to a peaceful world.