Over Christmas, I spent time with two beloved people in my life--one a friend and one a family member, who--according to doctors--have a limited amount of time left in this world.
My friend (an artist) was very vocal about how he felt, and expressed some pretty moving insights about trying not to hate his cancer, because it was a part of his body and any form of self-hate could be detrimental. He spoke of his resentment of people who have all kinds of time left in their lives, but waste it on pettiness and negative behavior. He refuses to give up, even though his oncologist doesn't recommend any more chemo. He continues to paint, to help raise his two little boys, and to love his wife dearly. He is seeking both western and eastern modalities of healing, not wanting to leave any stones unturned.
Conversely, my brother didn't talk much about his degenerative illness....I can tell that he is resolved to simply enjoy every moment that he has left, no matter how long that may be, and to take advantage of each stage of the disease before the next one appears and removes even more of his mobility and bodily function.
Being with these two brave men prompted some deep and sobering thoughts about what I want to do with the remainder of my time on earth. In the last year, I've been taking lots of action to create the things in my life that I truly want. A "carpe diem" attitude, if you will.
Everyone hears the messages and the hit country songs about "living every moment as though it were your last," blah blah blah...but sometimes that never hits home so much as when you spend time with people who are literally doing it.
Once we hit forty, life DOES get shorter. And perhaps it's time to quit waiting around on things to change that are unacceptable...is everything exactly how we want it to be in our careers? Is there still some hobby or endeavor we've been putting off, that we can start this month or year? Do our thoughts and the reality we are creating make us feel good or bad? Are there things we think are problems that really wouldn't be with a minor shift in attitude? Are there unhealthy patterns in our lives we can change, and--although outside our comfort zone and frightening at first--could change the course of our life? And for those still looking for the right life mate--are we clear about who we want to find and what we want in a relationship? Are we focusing on that instead of what we're NOT finding (so the law of attraction can bring it in)?
And perhaps the most critical question to ask...are there things you've wanted to tell someone, and haven't been able to? Timing is everything on this one--but sometimes, it just has to be done. While you have the chance.
I'm all for making the quality of life its absolute best, whether I’m terminally ill or not. Just in case. Because I never really know how much time I have left...and I don't want to waste one second.
If there is hell on earth
There must be heaven too
Both in one place
And not a second to lose
~Crowded House
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