Claude Debussy, John Lennon, and the Frank Sinatra of India

(Written May, 2006)

At this time of year, I always remember (with great fondness) one of the most beautiful weddings I have ever witnessed. The bride was a good friend and coworker of mine, and one of the most stunningly beautiful Indian-Americans I’ve ever seen in my life. She was also one of the nicest and most endearing women I’ve ever met. Her name was Parveen.

Parveen used to hear me sing in our agency’s talent show each December, and loved my voice so much that she wanted me to sing at her wedding. She offered to fly me to Florida, where the momentous occasion was to occur. When she stopped me in the hall and proposed all this, I was so honored I cried in front of everyone who walked past. I must confess, the tears weren’t just because of how moved I was…but because my heart was still raw from the grief of my very first gut-wrenching breakup that had happened two weeks prior. This exotic experience of singing at a wedding in Florida would offer a temporary respite, where I could leave it all behind for a while.

When Parveen and I sat down to discuss what she wanted me to sing, she surprised me by asking for recommendations. I told her John Lennon’s Grow Old Along With Me was always a good one. I sung it a cappella for her, and she agreed. Then I sang her a wedding song I’d written for a friend, and she liked that one too. “But Parveen,” I told her nervously, “I have no one to accompany me…I don’t play guitar and I can’t play piano at performance level due to stage fright.”

“No problem,” she smiled. “Just sing them a cappella—your voice is all I want to hear.”

With the reassurance of the bride herself, I felt confident that it would work!

Fast forward two months later to a balmy, tropical May in Melbourne, Florida…and Parveen’s wedding rehearsal. I witnessed—for the first time in my life—what a Hindu wedding altar looked like. A cage-like canopy with trellises of red roses and swirling vines. There would be a water ceremony…a fire ceremony….and a Hindu priest! Since Parveen was both Indian and American, she wanted to have a combination of Eastern and Western traditions. So…Hindu priest meets John Lennon. Sung a cappella. It was going to work so beautifully….until HE walked in. The Frank Sinatra of India.

*cue ominous music*

He wore a white suit and sported dark tinted glasses. He folded his arms presumptuously and stared at the progress of the rehearsal, which was just about to wrap up for the evening. One of his also-sharply-dressed minions followed him around, trying to look important. The minion saw me sitting on one of the wedding chairs, tilted his nose upward and gestured to the white-suited man, who was busy talking with someone. “Do you know who this man is?”

“No,” I replied, not really interested.

The minion was astounded. “This is Jagjit Singh, India’s Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin and Tony Bennett combined.”

I know he wanted me to be really, really impressed, but gosh…I just wasn’t. I was more interested in watching sweet Parveen greet all her many family members who continued to arrive with hugs and kisses.

Next thing I know, Mr. Singh was standing over me, arms still folded, and voice cool and casual. “I hear you are the singer.”

“That’s right. I’m Parveen’s friend.”

“Do you have any musicians with you?”

“Uh…actually, no. I’m going to sing my songs a cappella.”

“I have musicians, and I could accompany you.”

I looked at him, not knowing how to respond. It seemed more like a command than a helpful offer.

“I…I don’t have any sheet music for these songs. Parveen really wanted me to sing them all by themselves.”

“And why would you listen to her?” the minion piped up.

Because she’s the BRIDE perhaps??? I was beginning to get both irritated and enlightened as to the subtle sexist behavior that still existed in the world.

I imagined the logistical nightmare of it…I’d need to sing the songs for them, rehearse, somehow make it all work out…overproduce something that was supposed to be simple and beautiful. AAAAGHHH!

“I will send a car for you tomorrow,” Jagjit Singh informed me. Then he was gone.

He ruined everything for me, that damned Frank Sinatra of India. Now things were complicated. And uncomfortable.

“All I wanted to do was lay by the hotel pool tomorrow and calmly prepare myself for the wedding,” I told my friend, as I freaked out during the rehearsal dinner. “Now I’m completely stressed out!”

Thankfully, Parveen’s dad overheard everything. He came up with a cordial smile, put a gentle hand on my shoulder, and assured me in his lovable, sing-songy Indian accent, “Well this is not about stress, my dear. I will talk to him for you.”

Big. Huge. Sigh of Relief.

And now, back to our originally scheduled wedding…

           

The striking image that still stands out vividly in my memory from Parveen’s wedding, was her arrival at the building. She rode up in a white horse and carriage, adorned in a red and gold sari, a strand of red beads laying down the center of her head, hands all painted with elaborate henna designs, smiling in wonder at her waiting husband…and walking to the airy, graceful melody of Claude Debussy’s Claire de Lune.

Debussy, Lennon, fire, water, gold, and roses. Stunning.

Jagjit Singh was mysteriously absent from the ceremony. My friend whapped me on the arm. “Now look what you’ve done!” she teased. “You’ve shamed the Frank Sinatra of India, and now he’s not coming!” For a good half hour, I was horrified. Then later someone told us he’d suffered some chronic back trouble, but would be at the reception to sing a few numbers. Which he did. And all was well.

It was certainly one of the most unique weddings I’ve ever been privileged to attend, and one that made the best story.  To witness such a love, strong enough to bring two cultures together, was very healing for me…the first bit of salve on my wounded heart. Being a part of their sacred union was the beginning of me believing and trusting in romantic relationships again.

This month will mark Parveen’s 7^th wedding anniversary to a husband who simply adored her. I wish them both many years of health and happiness.