I've been doing something I call "love bombing" for the last decade of my life, and not only is it amusing and interesting (in a weird, science-project kind of way) but it makes me feel good, and more connected to my fellow human beings at times when there is the greatest tendency for dis-connect.
You can do it just about anywhere you go, while out in public. Grocery stores are a good start. Ever notice how people sort of ram around with their carts, studying their lists, searching the overhead aisle signs, looking to see where they need to go and -- most likely doing it all in a hurry? How often do you ever really make eye contact with people you pass in the supermarket? So what I do is, I not only meet their gaze, but I smile. Not a brief nod or up-turning of the corners of the mouth, but a full-on smile that you'd give your best friend.
The reactions you get are amazing. They range from a look of surprise ("WTF? Did someone actually just smile at me? Is she insane or something?) to a shy, uncertain returned smile, to a delighted "Hey, right back at ya!" smile. There are the occasional people who look away and pretend they didn't see, or perhaps they thought your smile wasn't directed at them, but they are rare.
The Supermarket Love Bomb has the biggest impact when your cart and someone else's cart meet at a crossroads, or you both swing dangerously around the corner of an aisle toward each other...in which case I always stop dead, lean forward engagingly, and flash the smile. The oncoming person--who is already stressing because he isn't sure if you're going to be rude and barge past him or be snippy about who should get right-of-way, or crash into her child behind the wheel of those race-car grocery carts--is suddenly disarmed. She returns the biggest, brightest smile because you just completely gave her the green light, no questions asked.
After all this, if you're really looking for a warm fuzzy perk - watch how some of these people that you bomb walk away still smiling. For some, you could very well have been the nicest person they've seen all day.
Another favorite place of mine, to drop the love bomb, is at intersections.
This is a great way to keep your mind off how boring red lights are, and to keep from growing huffy and impatient. When you are sitting at a red light, in a lane closest to opposing traffic, watch people who are either turning left or right into the lane that will pass right by you. If they are really good drivers, their eyes will stay glued to the road. But if they are the sort of people who eye the driver sitting at the corner while they turn, flash the best-friend smile at them. I almost always giggle because the main reaction is a double-take. Especially if it's a guy. ("Huh? Did she...did she just smile at me? Do we know her or something?") But I can tell, whoever it is, that they were completely surprised and delighted to get a big smile from a stranger...especially when their face morphs from a tense scowl to a slow grin.
Moving a few facial muscles, people. It's that easy. And you've made someone's day.
Try it out - it just might make YOUR day, too.
2 comments:
Who would ever think that a smile could make people uncomfortable!? That's such a ludicrous notion, and yet, you're right. A smile is a window into the soul. Some people just don't want to go there!
The other day while I was at the grocery store, I heard someone passing me say "Did you get married yet?" I halted and frowned in confusion, (not recognizing the voice) and turned shyly to see who could have possibly said that to me, only to be looking at the jeweler who sold us my engagement ring, with a huge smile on his face!
I started laughing and so did he, and I continued smiling for the rest of the day. :)
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